I wrote this blog post based on my spontaneous thoughts and feelings in the moment. 2023.09.17 The cover photo is my cat Simba :)
Being overweight for nearly a decade taught me 3 things- 1) it's all in what you eat- in middle school, my class used to dismiss in the evening time at 18:00 or 19:00. All I used to think when I got home was what my mom cooked for dinner. I used to have a big wooden bowl that was the ridiculous size of a meal plate for a middle school kid. Whatever my mom cooked I devoured it in 5 minutes without even properly chewing it. Technically I was a food addict. When I am stressed I eat, at a family meeting I eat, after school i eat, wherever I'm at, i always find some ways to enjoy my favorite meals and snacks. After school, i always stop by my favorite local convenience store. Some things i always remember to pick from the store- 1 Snickers chocolate bar, 1 lays chips, 1 kinder milk chocolate egg, and 1 any kind of soda (usually cola and Fanta). In my room, i would enjoy my snacks.
And the thing is i didn't share my snacks with anyone. Because the only thing that comforted me was food. 2) Stress - In high school, I didn't receive good grades, and my teacher punished me by assigning extra assignments and closely monitoring my progress. The reason why im so insecure about my appearance is my classmates used to bully me in middle and high school. The girls didn't talk to me as well. I was a loner, and still i am.
And all this, (being alone) made me feel like I'm worthless. I used to beg for attention from people. I asked them to hang out with me all the time because i felt so empty and needed to talk with somebody. I could've just shared this problem with my family but deep down i just knew they wouldn't understand. These problems led me to stress a lot. And the more i stress, the more i eat. Managing stress was hard for me.
Sometimes i think if schools were concerned about kids who are in a dark place, it would be better than taking a test and ranking them as bad products and good products.
3) People will only look for what they can use in you. I believe that there are more good people than bad ones. But still, people are horrible. As i grew up i understood how connection and networking work. Actively listening to what people say, not just the words but also the tone, can reveal a lot about their intentions and character. I discovered that sometimes, people unconsciously reveal their true selves through their conversations. I started noticing how media, movies, TV shows, and advertising, often portray overweight people in negative or unrealistic ways. These portrayals eventually created false stereotypes amongst overweight people.
People are just careless about their environment. Who they are is not my concern but i also think that we need some changes. Sitting alone and thinking made me quite observant.
As i started working out and taking care of my body and mind, i realized that we were wasting too much time on unnecessary things. We are living in a developing small city. People are just living in their own worlds, doing their own things. They are not just paying attention to the world around them. And it is a good thing. Sometimes, we can find the solution by making mistakes. We all make mistakes. We are all sinners.
As we move forward, our viewpoints tend to align more closely with practicality and actuality. And not just me. Elders say that we die as realistic. Complexity and hard problems help us to realize what certain stages we are in in life. In times of difficulty, it can be beneficial to take a moment to consider our current position in life. After completing that task, you'll be able to look forward to the future with enthusiasm once again.